29th December 2011.

09:01.

I like round numbers and will tend to set an alarm for a nice round time – like o’clock, quarter past, half past, but oddly, ten-to, not quarter-to. I quite like the sound of the alarm on my new phone, and therefore see no need to cut it short after a few seconds. A full minute usually does the trick.

So, a quick assessment of last night’s happenings is required. Waters broken, check. Fore or hind? There are different waters? I was previously unaware of this, but must nevertheless listen to the facts carefully in order to make a judgment and offer reassuring advice to my wife. From the little I’ve learned about fore-waters and hind-waters in the last thirty seconds, mostly from eaves-dropping telephone conversations between the wife and her mother-in-law, I conclude speculatively that “at this stage, dear, I believe it’s only your fore waters that have gone.”

With this now taken as gospel, a visit to the community midwife ensues, which bears little fruit, other than little one does need to come in the next 72 hours to reduce the risk of infection. And, oh yes, both fore- and hind-waters have broken.