Recognising, and accepting, the different stages in our children's lives is important if we are going to build the friendship with them that makes life so good. The following was sent in by a mum:

Life is full of transitions, some more difficult than others. A friend and I recently shared a cup of coffee reminiscing about what it used to be like when our children broke up for the summer holidays. Now that our children are grown up, we miss the promise of untimetabled days, the picnics and bike rides, the long days at the beach making the most of the sun and sea, returning with sleepy, sandy, contented children. Now our children all drive themselves to their summer jobs, have their own bank accounts, and plan their own social lives. Where once thepromise of a milkshake, or the purchase of a jar of chocolate spread for a teatime treat brought a smile to their faces, now they announce that they won't be home for dinner and that we shouldn't bother to wait up for them. How times change! Looking back those long summer days seem timeless somehow.

I am only now getting used to the fact that my children can function well without me, and yet that was the goal all along! After all those years of nurturing, this stage of being a parent is all about achieving the balance of letting our offspring know they have our support but at the same time allowing them to be independent - often easier said than done. My husband and I are facing the fact that we have adult children who must make their own decisions and mistakes. If we don't let them go, and encourage their independence, we are not fulfilling our rightful role.